Years ago, after a long day of rehearsals, the studio owner and I stayed to catch up on lesson plans. As I looked in the mirror, I began criticizing everything wrong with me and my body. I didn’t even realize I was saying the thoughts out loud until I heard a gentle, “Ash, do you hear yourself? Do you hear how you’re talking about yourself?”. I was in my early 20s and a relatively new dance educator. But self-criticism had long been part of my life. Growing up as a competitive dancer, picking myself apart felt second nature. I didn’t know there was any other way to talk to myself.
Looking back, I’m so grateful for that moment when the studio owner, also a dear friend and mentor, kindly brought it to my attention. Hearing it from an outside perspective made me pause and reflective how negative my self-talk was. Slowly, I started noticing my self-criticism and its effects. I realized how low my self-worth was and began searching for a different way to treat myself.
Eventually, I came across Dr. Kristin Neff’s work on self-compassion. Honestly, at first, I was a bit resistant. Wouldn’t I become lazy and complacent without self-criticism? Didn’t I need it to keep myself in line and reach my goals? But it turns out self-criticism can come with some severe costs, such as anxiety, depression, and eating disorders, to name a few (Shahar, 2017).
How To Practice Self Compassion
Self-compassion, on the other hand, has several benefits for physical and mental health. In addition to being an alternative to self-criticism, the research on self-compassion shows that it’s associated with personal initiative, happiness, optimism, curiosity, exploration, and wisdom (Firestone, 2016). Check out this excellent infographic for more on the benefits of self-compassion.
Self-compassion means treating yourself with understanding and kindness, especially when you mess up or are facing challenges, as a wise and caring friend would. Dr. Kristin Neff has identified the three components of self-compassion as:
Self-kindness instead of self-judgment
Common humanity instead of isolation
Mindfulness instead of over-identification (Neff, 2020).
Self-compassion is a practice. For me, I’ve found it most helpful to not only practice it in the moment when I’m being harsh with myself but also do intentional self-compassion exercises. Here are two ways you can practice self-compassion, developed by Dr. Neff:
Self-Compassion Break: This is a great exercise to schedule intentionally throughout your week or use when you’re being hard on yourself or struggling. If it feels safe and comfortable, place your hands on your heart, or use any other self-soothing touch, like hugging yourself or holding your face in your hands. Acknowledge your current stress, pain, or suffering by telling yourself, "this is hard" or "this hurts." Remind yourself of your shared humanity by telling yourself, "I'm not alone in my pain. Others feel this too". Ask yourself, what words of kindness do you need to hear right now? This could be "may I be kind to myself" or "I can do hard things." Whatever feels comforting. Take a minute to sit in this self-compassion break, knowing you can come back to it anytime you need. Here’s an Instagram Reel Self-Compassion Break I made if you want a guide. And here’s the link to Dr. Neff’s instructions for this exercise (Neff, 2015).
Letter to yourself: Think about the things you most often judge or criticize yourself for. Now, write a letter to yourself from the perspective of an imaginary best friend and what they would say about these things. This imaginary friend is wise and caring. They see you as a human, with all your strengths and weakness. Write about the understanding and comfort they would offer you. What wisdom or advice would they give you? What would they say about your insecurities? Come back to this letter anytime you need to practice self-compassion. Click here for Dr. Neff’s full instructions for this exercise (Neff, 2015).
Next time you notice negative self-talk or self-criticism, pause. Then ask yourself, “what would I say to a friend in this situation? What words of kindness and understanding would I give them?” Then say those things to yourself. And remember, it’s a practice!
You’ve got this. And I’m here to support you however you need. If you’re interested in my work, head to my website. You can also find me on Instagram for more free tools, resources, and inspiration.
Chat soon!
Ashley
Ashley Mowrey is a former competitive dancer, dance educator, and competition company director. Now as a Mindset Coach, she helps dancers build confidence and mental strength so they can shine on and off of the stage. Ashley works with dancers through 1-1 virtual coaching as well as studio and team workshops. She holds a B.A. in Psychology from The University of Arkansas, is an Associate Certified Coach through the International Coaching Federation, a Whole Person Certified Coach and Trauma-Informed Certified Coach, a Certified Positive Psychology Coach, and a trained facilitator in Tara Mohr’s Playing Big Leadership Program. Ashley’s a specialist for Doctors for Dancers, and a blog contributor for Apolla Performance. You can also see her on tour with Embody Dance Conference, where she leads Mindset Skills Seminars for all ages, including parents and teachers.
Promotions, new products and sales. Directly to your inbox.
Apolla socks provide the benefit of a shoe and comfort of a sock. That is why dancer's call them Shocks! They provide all the sport-science features you need in ONE sock.
Patented targeted zones provide arch and ankle support:
The 20-30 mmHg compression zones lift in key points of the feet to lift and stabilize but do NOT prevent range of motion like an orthotic...so you can still build foot strength
The high quality compression assists circulation & recovery by reducing inflammation which energizes your muscles.
This is very similar to the support you will get from taping…except it allows for better movement and comfort.
The stability they provide is raved about from customers with joint hypermobility and are looking for comfort and stability.
Knit-in Energy Absorption:
A 2019 independent study at Ohio University showed Apolla socks reduced force.
Our padding on the ball of the foot AND the heel provides comfort for your metatarsals but is not too thick in shoes.
Additional Features:
Antimicrobial
Moisture-wicking
Durable
Recycleable
Apolla socks are anatomically correct. Click here to see how to wear them properly
ALL OF OUR APOLLA SOCKS HAVE BEEN GIVEN THE AMERICAN PODIATRIC MEDICAL ASSOCIATION SEAL OF ACCEPTANCE.
WHY DO YOU WANT ALL OF THESE FEATURES IN YOUR SOCKS?
Our high-quality, patented compression, and energy absorption combined stabilizes the 26 bones in the foot and the ankle’s tendons and ligaments. This minimizes the amount of inflammation that takes place during your daily life or exercise that occurs due to overuse in your joints and muscles. We encourage you to have a pair for your exercise and a pair for recovery or everyday wear.
Inflammation is a natural occurence in the body, but if it is not removed or given enough time to decrease it can build up to cause chronic pain and issues like plantar fasciitis and tendonitis. Apolla socks help to not only decrease this painful inflammation that exercise and long days on your feet produces, but it also helps remove it. You will notice less fatigue, muscle pain, and they don't prevent range of motion so your muscles can still build strength. When you remove inflammation, you ache less and feel better…and you can do MORE of what you love, longer & stronger!
TRACTION OR NON-TRACTION?
Traction = grip so you don't slip!
There is an Apolla Shock for everyone and we recommend having one of each in your bag to keep you protected on any dance floor, in and out of the studio, from cross-training, to travel, from stage to recovery and everything in between! All Shocks are available WITH or NON traction.
Here are some guidelines to help you choose which option is best for YOU:
Choose WITH traction:
For any dance floor or slippery surface
We recommend if you are going to be using primarily on a dance floor that you always get WITH traction on all styles of Shocks, then wear it down to your preferred grip.
Choose NON traction:
For carpet at conventions
I will be wearing my Shocks in shoes (i.e. tap shoes, sneakers, etc.)
IMPORTANT: YOUR TRACTION WILL START VERY STICKY THEN WEAR DOWN TO THE GRIP YOU WANT TO KEEP IT AT.
This break in period can be 1-3 classes on average
IF you do not feel strong resistance on the first step? Please always contact Apolla customer service so we can help.
Once broken in, start refreshing the grip every class to KEEP the level of "stick" you want.
You must start refreshing your grip with either E6000 Spray Adhesive (this is what we recommend) or other refreshers can be Bloch rosin spray or a regular rock rosin.
If you do NOT start refreshing or you wear your WITH traction Shocks on carpet or in shoes, it may wear down your grip to almost nothing and make it not as effective.
Refresh your traction so you can keep "re-sticking" your grip over and over for the life of the Shock.
Please note:Due to the antimicrobial/moisture wicking properties in every pair, we recommend to treat your Shocks more as you would a shoe. They do not need to be washed daily or even weekly, as water will naturally break down the traction faster. Wash your Shocks only as necessary to possibly preserve the life of the traction. OR wash your Shocks if you want to wear the traction in faster. You will find they continue to bounce back to fit like a glove to your foot the more you wear and wash them. For the Joule, we recommend washing to bounce them back to shape when needed.
Care:All of our Shocks can be washed and dried according to our recommended care instructions and always use your Apolla Mesh Bag when laundering. We also recommend washing the WITH traction Shocks inside out to help preserve the traction.
Why I need E6000 for my Traction Shocks?
The beloved E6000 company has created a non-toxic spray adhesive that is the favorite refresher of traction for all of our Apolla Shocks. Apolla Shocks unique traction has eliminated the bulk and seams underfoot. It starts out sticky then you wear it down to your preferred level of grip. Then you keep it there by using a traction refresher. Some will refresh right away, some may never refresh...it is completely personalized to your need and floors. This is our recommendation. It is a pump spray and when you apply 5-10 pumps to your traction, it dries instantly, and does not damage floors. It helps to "re-stick" the grip over and over for the life of the Shocks. Some dancers start refreshing in the first class, some never refresh, some refresh when needed. It is important you have a bottle in your dance bag or at your studio to use as needed...one bottle last a long time! Your traction will wear down to nothing if you don't use a refresher, so make sure to order a bottle with your traction Shocks today!
Comments
Please note: comments must be approved before they are published.